If you’re my 74-year-old-beloved-relative-who-I-will-not-name-here-for-fear-of-offending-him, you shrug and say you don’t know. You’d rather let your wife decide if being buried or cremated is best.
But there’s so many things to take care of when somebody dies.
There’s so much grief.
So much longing.
And so much you wish you’d said to your loved one but did not.
Long nights when you lie awake for hours wishing you had a second chance … but knowing that you never will.
Your loved one is in a quieter, gentler place. But you, the bereaved, feel stuck in a hurricane of sadness and self-doubt and regret and longing that goes on for months or years or maybe even decades.
So if you, while you’re alive and healthy and strong, make some simple preparations for death, those preparations will help the people you leave behind. The people who hate you for being gone, who love you fiercely and maybe feel they didn’t tell you so often enough. Your loved ones who let life’s petty anxieties get in the way of listening when you called them on the phone.
Who need to know if you want to be buried or cremated.
My mom chose cremation
My mom wanted to be cremated. Cremation is easier and cheaper than a cemetery burial. She didn’t want hoop-la. The no-nonsense of cremation appealed to her, I think. She was all personality all the time. And it was always no-nonsense.
We chose an urn made out of pink Himalayan rock salt to put my mother’s ashes in.
My brothers and I agreed on it right away. Every rock salt urn is unique. It was natural but it had pizzazz, just like my mom.
We know she would’ve liked it.
Published: February 1, 2012
Last update: April 1, 2021